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How to not lose yourself in motherhood

Moms, we all know the feeling. After years of planning and dreaming, our babies are born into our lives. We find ourselves responsible for everything and anything that goes on in their little lives. And as much as we might want to, we can’t help but lose ourselves in our new roles.

When I became a mother, I didn’t know what to expect. I imagined spending every moment blissfully with my new little one, but that’s not exactly how it went. I quickly found myself balancing work and parenting, which was challenging but also so rewarding. However, as time went on and my little ones got older, I realized that I had lost myself in the process. I had let marriage and motherhood take over my life. I wasn’t as active or as engaged in my life outside of my role as a mother as I used to be.

It can be tough to find yourself after having kids. Between all the diapers, feedings, and sleepless nights, it’s easy to lose track of who you are outside of being a mom. But don’t worry. Being a mother doesn’t mean losing your identity. There are ways to reconnect to life outside of motherhood.

Don’t get me wrong. I love being a mom. But I was stressed and unhappy until I found a way to balance motherhood and the rest of my life. There’s no one right way to be a mother, but there are definitely plenty of ways to be true to yourself as well as a be a good mom. Here are some key things that will help you stay connected to yourself and your own needs.

How to not lose your sense of self in motherhood

It’s common for moms to feel like they are in a state of shock when they first come home from the hospital. Suddenly you’re in charge of this little thing day and night. And it never stops. Between taking care of your child and dealing with the demands of everyday life, you may feel like you’ve lost yourself somewhere along the way.

When you are a mom, your daily routine revolves around taking care of your kids. You are on duty 24/7. How do you be so consumed by this new role without losing your identity?

I struggled with feeling like a good mom because I often resented that I didn’t have enough time to just be me. It takes time and effort to find a balance between your various roles but it’s important to explore other aspects of who you are so that you don’t lose yourself completely in motherhood.

It can be tough to maintain your sense of self while being a mother, but it’s not impossible. In fact, there are many things you can do to help you stay on track. For starters, try following these tips:

Set boundaries

Try living within your limits and uphold your boundaries so that you don’t overextend yourself both mentally and emotionally. Motherhood is an excellent opportunity for you to explore your limits and build your resilience, but this requires effort and intentionality.

Set boundaries with your time and energy. Don’t feel guilty about taking time for yourself – it’s important for your mental and physical health. Set limits on how much you’ll spend time doing a certain type of task, and stick to them.

Learn to say no to anything that ultimately doesn’t matter so you have the time and energy to focus on the things that do.

Make time for yourself

When you’re a mom, it can be tough to find time for yourself. Kids require a lot of time and energy, and it’s hard to carve out some space for yourself when they need you so much. But it’s important to do something for yourself, even if it’s just five minutes in the bathroom. Taking care of yourself is essential for your mental health and your relationships with your kids.

Self-care was not socially acceptable before our generation. Parents were expected to put their kids first and take care of themselves last. But that’s no longer the case. Nowadays, we realize that parents need time for themselves too in order to be healthy and happy. And kids benefit from seeing their parents taking care of themselves. It teaches them that self-care is important, and that they should take care of themselves as well.

Make sure you schedule some “me time” into your day each week. There are lots of things you can do during me time: read a book, watch TV, go on a walk, or just relax in bed with a cup of tea. The most important thing is that you find an activity that makes you happy and helps you relax.

If you can’t find time to take care of yourself, you won’t be able to take care of your kids properly. So make sure you put “me time” on your calendar, and stick to it! Don’t get me wrong. Sometimes the days are so busy that you just need to prioritize getting everything done. But make sure those days are few and far in between.

Remember your priorities

Life is full of distractions. From housework to kids to social media, it’s hard to stay focused on what’s really important. But if you want to be true to yourself, you need to remember your priorities. You can’t do everything, and you shouldn’t try to.

Figure out what’s important to you, and prioritize those things first. Be grateful for the things that are important to you, and don’t let the things that aren’t get in the way. Don’t take life too seriously, and have fun while you’re at it!

Don’t compare yourself to other mothers. Everybody is different and has their own strengths and weaknesses. There’s no such thing as a ‘perfect mother’, only people who pretend to the world they are. Focusing on yourself can be difficult when you have kids, but it’s important not to neglect your own needs.

Reconnecting with God is one way to make sure that you still take some time for yourself every day. If you’re religious, one great way to get back in touch with God and yourself is by Bible study. Spending time each day reading God’s Word will help you connect with Him and gain wisdom and guidance for everything in life. If you’ve let it go, getting back into a routine of regular prayer will also help you feel more like yourself again.

Remember: If you don’t set your own priorities, others will set them for you.

Plan your days

The first step is acknowledging that this feeling of confusion and ambiguity is normal and happens to many mothers. The next step is taking actionable steps to finding yourself again.

If you’re a stay-at-home mom, it can be tough to be at home all day with the kids, and it’s no surprise that many mothers feel like they’re losing their minds. Try to get out of the house as often as possible. This can be anything from going to the grocery store to getting a pedicure. Make sure that you schedule in some time for yourself each week, even if it’s just an hour or two.

Dress up for yourself sometimes! Even if you don’t care what others think, putting on some makeup or dressing nicely can make you feel good about yourself. Make sure you continue to have date nights with your partner to continue nurturing the relationship. Doing all this will also help you regain your sexual confidence which often gets lost along the way.

Make Love Again: A guide to getting your sex drive back while breastfeedingCheck it out on Amazon

Every morning, make it a routine to look at your plans for the day and schedule in what’s most important for you. I make sure that I schedule in ‘highlights’ for the day and a small self-care activity or two. You may not always manage to get it done but if you plan for it daily, there’s much higher chance you’ll shape your day how you want it to go rather than spend the day reacting to everything and end up at the end of the day exhausted that you haven’t achieved anything you wanted to get done.

Deal with maternal anxiety

When you become a mom, it can feel like you are losing your mind. All of the sudden, there are new concerns and worries that you didn’t have before. It’s normal to feel this way. Motherhood is a big adjustment! But it’s important to do what you can to maintain your sanity during this time.

One mom managed her anxiety about her kids by not overwhelming herself with scary thoughts. She also came up with a ‘plan of action’ for when anxiety rears its ugly head.

Remember to have faith. When you feel like you are losing yourself in motherhood, put your kids into a higher good’s hands and have faith that things will work out okay. You don’t have to do it all on your own!

Find ways to express yourself creatively

Remember that you are more than just a mom. You have other interests and talents that make you unique. know what you enjoy doing. It is important not to compare yourself too much with others who are also in the same position as you. So find an activity or a hobby that brings you joy and stick with it!

I started blogging when I became a mom the first time round and it’s been my sanity-saviour. It feels so good to have something I can call my own. The best part is I can do it even when I’m stuck at home with the kids and can’t get out.

Connect with other mothers who will understand and support you

For many women, it takes time and commitment to find meaningful ways to stay connected with their old friends outside the home environment.

However, it is important to focus on your relationships outside of the home. Spend time with friends, join a mommy group or plan girls night out. These activities will help you feel connected and less isolated.

Ask for help

Remember that it’s okay to ask for help when you need it! There are plenty of people who would love to lend a hand – don’t be afraid to reach out.

One great way to get help is by visiting websites that offer solutions to common problems mothers face. This can be a great resource for finding support and getting help with issues such as breastfeeding, sleep deprivation, and postpartum depression. And best of all, these resources are free to use.

So if you’re feeling lost since becoming a mother, don’t hesitate to seek out help from online resources. They can provide invaluable support during this challenging time in your life.

Have confidence in yourself

As a mother, it is important to stay confident in your decisions. Society may tell you that you’re doing things wrong, but remember that your intuition is usually different from what others say. You are the only one who knows what is best for your child, so don’t be afraid to stand up for what you believe in.


It’s natural to feel lost when we are overwhelmed. We may be looking for more meaning in our lives, or for a sense of who we are. We may also be trying to figure out why something happened, or why we feel the way we do. Self-reflection is a good way to check in on ourselves.

It can be difficult to answer these questions, but it is a necessary part of self-reflection. In order to find yourself, you must first understand who you are and what makes you unique. Once you have a grasp on your identity, you can begin to figure out what you want out of life.

There are many ways to do self-reflection. Journaling is my favorite way. It can also be really helpful in preventing motherhood from taking over your life entirely.

Reflections: A Journal for LifeCheck it out on Amazon

When you journal, dump everything out–the good, the bad, and the ugly! Once everything is out in the open, allow yourself to feel the feelings associated with them but then let them go once they’re released to the journal. It’s a great way to work through unhelpful thoughts.

You may rediscover yourself in this process or you may find that you’ve evolved into someone different. You but not you. And that’s fine. This new identity is still you, just a slightly different version. You didn’t lose yourself. You just found a new you.

To wrap up

These tips will help you find yourself after having a baby. It’s important to accept where you are in motherhood and not try to pressure yourself to be perfect. With these simple practices, you can shape your days the way you want them and feel more like yourself again.

Sharon James

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