17 Ways to Improve your Toddler’s Emotional Intelligence

Toddlers are constantly learning and trying to figure out the world around them. They are constantly observing and taking in information. This is why it’s so important to help toddlers develop their emotional intelligence during this period in their lives. Emotional intelligence is the ability to understand and manage emotions. Toddlers who have high emotional intelligence are better equipped later in life to handle conflict, set boundaries, cope with stress, take care of themselves emotionally, and build healthy relationships. There are quite a few things that parents can do to help toddlers develop their emotional intelligence. Let’s take a deep dive:

What is emotional intelligence in children?

Emotional intelligence is the ability of a person to understand and manage their own emotional state. Emotional intelligence skills lie within the areas of sensing, thinking, feeling and behaviour. Some examples of emotional intelligence in kids are:

• They are able to express themselves. This can be through words, art, music, or dance.
• They listen to others. This includes both verbal and nonverbal communication.
• They self-regulate. This means they are able to control their emotions and reactions, especially in difficult situations.

What can parents do to help toddlers improve emotional intelligence?

It’s important for us as parents to be aware of how we’re impacting our children’s emotional development by being supportive but honest with them about feelings, being mindful when providing opportunities for expression, creating positive reinforcement systems for good behaviour, provide positive role models and media exposure, and doing regular check-ins/feedback on our toddlers’ emotions. Further reading: How do parents influence their children’s emotional development?

Be aware of emotions

As parents, we are constantly aware of our toddlers’ physical health and what they need to grow and thrive. But what about their emotional health? Just as important as physical health, emotional health is essential in a toddler’s development. Almost any parent of a toddler can attest to the fact that their little one is emotional. They may feel a wide range of emotions in a short period of time and they aren’t afraid to express them. This is developmentally appropriate for toddlers who are working on learning about their emotions and how to communicate them. As parents, we often underestimate the power of these feelings. When a toddler’s emotions are dismissed or ignored, it can lead to problems such as behavioral issues and difficulty forming relationships. Be aware of the emotions your toddler is experiencing and provide a supportive environment in which these emotions can be expressed. Whenever you notice your toddler exhibiting strong emotions, take a moment to talk to them about it. This can help toddlers be more aware and understand that they are experiencing an emotion, which is an important first step in managing them.

Use visual aids

Younger toddlers don’t have the vocabulary skills yet to express how they feel. However, even if they don’t yet have the words to decribe their feelings, they can often recognize it visually. The mood meter and other mood boards are visual representations of different emotions. It can help you to check in with your younger child throughout the day and see how they may be feeling. Once they have identified an emotion that they are feeling, label it so they learn the words to express it.

Label emotions

The ability to label emotions is a key part of emotional intelligence. When you can name what you’re feeling, it’s easier to deal with those emotions. This is why it’s important to validate your toddler’s emotions with words. By using emotion words frequently in daily conversations with your toddler, you can help them develop a richer emotional vocabulary. This will in turn help them better understand and regulate their own emotions, setting the foundation for strong emotional intelligence. For example, if they look angry, you might say, “You look angry. Are you feeling mad because I said we have to leave the playground now?” If they look sad, you might say, “Are you feeling disappointed that we aren’t going to visit Grandma and Grandpa today?” Using emotional words such as “angry,” “upset,” “shy” and “painful” can all build a vocabulary to express feelings. Don’t forget to share the words for positive emotions, too, such as “joy,” “excited,” “thrilled” and “hopeful.” Labeling toddlers’ emotions can help them learn to identify and understand their feelings. It can also help us better understand and respond to our children’s emotional needs. When children are able to identify their feelings, they are more likely to express them in a healthy way. Labeling emotions can also help toddlers develop empathy for others. You may be interested in How to label emotions for toddlers: A comprehensive guide

Respond empathically to their emotions

Deadlines are approaching, your boss shouted at you, you had a fight with your spouse… all these and many more can affect our mood. When our toddler starts sulking and crying for no apparent reason, it’s the last straw that broke the camels’ back and you explode at them. Sounds familiar? I’ve been guilty of this countless times, leaving me feeling upset with myself and feeling like a bad mom later. As impossible as it sometimes  can be, when your toddler is upset, it’s important to respond empathetically. This means that you should put yourself in the toddler’s shoes and try to understand how he or she is feeling. You may not be able to fix the problem, but your support can help the child feel better. Here are some tips for responding empathetically to a child’s emotions:

• Stay calm and think of their emotions as an opportunity to connect.
• Listen to what the toddler has to say. Don’t interrupt, and let him or her finish speaking.
• Listen attentively and show that you are paying attention by making eye contact and using facial expressions that convey understanding.
• Acknowledge the emotion.
• Validate your toddler’s feelings.
• Don’t dismiss your toddler’s feelings.
• Don’t try to fix the problem.
• Offer comfort and support.

I’m not saying you shouldn’t reprimand your child or try to help them understand that they need to eat their dinner. Show empathy for their feelings and respond in a way that is consonant with your values and beliefs. If you’re not able to provide the space for your own reactive feelings, take a pause and redirect so that you can respond to your toddler lovingly instead of angrily. As hard as it is to think rationally at the time, remember that emotional outbursts are opportunities for learning and growth. With this in mind, you can use these moments as teachable opportunities for your child. You  may also be interested in How to show empathy to your child: 18 tips for parents

Reflect and validate their feelings

It’s normal for toddlers to have big emotions. They’re just learning how to cope with them. Toddlers need to know that their feelings are valid. Validating a toddler’s feelings means acknowledging that what they are feeling is real and that their reaction is normal. For example, if your toddler is upset because they were not allowed to do something, you might say “I can see why you would be upset. You wanted to do that and you weren’t allowed to.” Or, if your toddler is sad, say “I can see that you are feeling sad. That must not feel good.” When a toddler’s feelings are validated, it makes them feel heard and important. This can help them regulate their emotions and develop healthy relationships. Validation also shows that you care about your toddler and their feelings.

Explore and ask questions

One of the most important things you can do as a parent is to explore your child’s emotions with them. It is essential that you understand why they are feeling the way they are. This will help you to be more patient with them as they learn to process their emotions. It is also important to provide positive reinforcement for your child when they display positive feelings. This will encourage them to continue expressing their emotions in a healthy way.

Use tantrums as teachable moments

Parents know that tantrums are a part of toddlerhood, especially the terrible twos, but what most don’t know is how to use these moments as teachable ones. Tantrums can provide parents with an opportunity to teach their children about emotions, how to handle them, and how to behave in public. Temper tantrums usually happen when a child is frustrated or angry. In order to make the most of these teachable moments, parents should stay calm and try to understand what their child is feeling. For example, if your toddler erupts at a store because you won’t buy them a treat at the checkout stand, validate their feelings first: “I know you’re disappointed and angry, but we are not getting candy today.” Or if they cry and scream, refusing to go to day care, validate their feelings first, theen talk with them about why they’re afraid, what they can expect during the visit, and why they need to go. Of course, even when you teach children to name their feelings, temper tantrums and meltdowns are still inevitable. During an outburst or meltdown, we can help young children develop self-control by giving them permission to feel, a safe place to express their emotions, and the opportunity to practice calming strategies.

Model empathy

Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of another. It’s a critical skill for both parents and children. There are a few things parents can do to help nurture empathy in their children. One is to model empathy themselves. When children see their parents behaving with empathy, they’re more likely to do the same. It’s also important to help your toddler develop empathy. You can do this by talking about other people’s feelings and helping your toddler see both sides of every situation. It’s also helpful to encourage your toddler to think about solutions to problems rather than just dwelling on the problem itself. Another way to nurture empathy is to provide opportunities for kids to practice it. This might involve role-playing different scenarios with them or having them talk about times when they’ve felt empathy for others. Encourage your toddler to be aware of other people’s feelings and perspectives. This can be done by asking them questions about how someone else might feel in a particular situation. It is essential that you keep dynamics in the family healthy by practicing empathy and compassion towards one another. This will create a safe and loving environment for your child to express their emotions in.

Teach healthy coping mechanisms

As a parent, you want to do everything you can to help your child grow up healthy and happy. One important way to do this is to teach them healthy coping mechanisms. This means teaching them how to deal with their feelings in a positive way. Toddlers may not be able to express their feelings in words, but they can still learn how to deal with them. You can start by teaching them simple coping mechanisms, like deep breathing or counting to 10. Give them helpful tools for managing their emotions. A calming kit can be a great way to help your toddler regulate their feelings. It might include items like a stuffed animal, books about feelings, or even just some pictures of happy things. Encourage positive self-talk. Help your child see the silver lining in difficult situations and praise them when they manage their emotions well. Encourage your toddler to express their emotions in appropriate ways i.e not with a tantrum. Teach your child how to deal with negative emotions effectively or creatively.

Express emotions creatively

Provide opportunities for toddlers to express themselves through both verbal and nonverbal means. This includes activities such as art, music, and dance. Engage them in activities that appeal to their emotional side such as arts and crafts; listening to music; reading stories with happy or sad endings; dancing; playing games that are challenging or exciting; participating in group activities such as dance recitals or story time together.

Take time for teaching and observing emotions daily

It’s important to take time for teaching and observing emotions in day-to-day life with your toddler. You can do this by using stories, movies, or videos that teach about emotions. You can also check in on the mood meter throughout the day to see how your toddler is feeling. If they are feeling happy, sad, mad, or angry, explain what happened that led to that emotion and why you think it is happening. It’s also helpful to determine the causes of feelings and label them with a word that best describes how they are feeling. This will help your toddler understand and manage their emotions better.

Teach problem-solving

When children are toddlers, they are just beginning to understand and manage their emotions. As a parent, you can help your child by teaching them how to identify their emotions and how to brainstorm solutions for managing strong emotions. One way to do this is to help them set goals for how they would like to manage emotions in the future. For example, if your child often gets angry and yells, you could help them set a goal of counting to 10 the next time they feel angry. These are other techniques you can try:

• Let them come up with ideas to fix their own problems
• Encourage them to come up with solutions that take other people’s feelings into consideration
• Guide them into thinking of more appropriate ways to handle negative feelings

You can also use calming techniques when needed, such as deep breathing or positive self-talk. Teaching your child these skills will help them develop emotional intelligence and cope with difficult situations in the future.

Use CARS for Intense Emotional Reactions

CARS is an acronym that stands for:

• C – control
• A – acceptance
• R – restriction
• S – safety

This acronym is used to help parents respond to their child’s intense emotional reactions in a way that is both safe and effective. When a child is experiencing an intense emotional reaction, it is important for the parent to maintain control of the situation. This can be done by remaining calm and setting limits. Accept your child’s emotions and not try to talk them out of how they are feeling. Make sure your toddler feels safe. This can be done by providing physical comfort and reassurance.

Improve their self esteem

Toddlerhood is a time when children are constantly learning and growing. It’s important to help them build a strong foundation of self-esteem during this time so that they continue to feel good about themselves as they grow. There are many things parents can do to improve their toddler’s self esteem. One way to help boost your toddler’s self esteem is to give them plenty of positive reinforcement. Praise them for their accomplishments, no matter how small they may seem. Even something as simple as saying “good job” can make a difference. Another way to help boost a toddler’s self esteem is by giving them opportunities to succeed. This could involve setting simple tasks for them to complete or letting them choose what they want to wear or eat. Children who feel good about themselves are more likely to be able to manage their emotions effectively.

Work on your toddler’s social skills

Toddlers learn best by exploring their environment and interacting with others. As parents, it is important to help our toddlers improve their social skills. One way to do this is by providing opportunities for them to interact with other children. This can be done by enrolling them in a preschool or playgroup, or by arranging playdates with friends or family members. It is also important to model positive social behavior for our toddlers. Show them how to greet others, how to share, and how to resolve conflicts. Social skills are also important because they allow children to interact with others in a positive way, which can lead to better emotional regulation. Toddlers who have strong social skills are more likely to have successful relationships with their peers as they grow older.

Be a good role model

As a parent, you want your toddler to look up to you and learn from your actions. You may not feel like you are always a role model, but the truth is, your toddler is watching and learning from you all the time. Parents are the first teacher for their child and they learn how to behave and act in different situations from your actions. Model appropriate ways to express feelings. If you’re able to handle your own emotions in a healthy way, your toddler will be more likely to do the same. When you’re feeling angry, sad, or frustrated, show your child how you deal with those emotions in a positive way.

Make emotional intelligence an ongoing goal

Make it a point to talk about emotions with your child on a daily basis. This will help them become more aware of their own feelings and how to deal with them. You can talk about what specific emotions they’re feeling and why, as well as how those emotions make them feel physically and mentally. Whenever your child makes a mistake, use it as an opportunity to teach them about emotional intelligence. Help them understand why what they did was wrong and how they could have handled the situation better. This will encourage them to think before they act in future situations. It’s important to remain positive when you see your child struggling with their emotions. This will help them feel supported and encouraged to keep working on managing their emotions effectively. Let them know that it’s okay to feel upset sometimes, but that there are ways to deal with those feelings constructively. If your child is having difficulty managing their emotions and you feel that you can’t help them anymore that you are now, consider seeking out help from experts. There are many professionals who specialize in emotional intelligence and problem-solving skills. These experts can help your child develop the tools they need to effectively manage their emotions.

To wrap up

It’s important to note that these skills are not necessarily easy to learn. They often take time and practice. However, as a parent, you can help your child develop these skills by modeling emotional intelligence yourself and providing opportunities for your child to practice expressing themselves in a safe and healthy way.